sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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