so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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