There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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