white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
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