I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
