I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
Everyone says I win the strip club
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
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