I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Randomize
