i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
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