I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
