i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
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