Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Randomize
