C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize
