playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
