I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
