TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
Randomize
