Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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