yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Randomize
