so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
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