I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
