Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Randomize
