i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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