batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
