and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
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