dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
