And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
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