I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
Randomize