Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize