you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Randomize
