White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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