Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Randomize
