Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
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