You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Are we in a gay sports bar?
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
Randomize
