dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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