Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
Randomize
