I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Randomize
