Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
