I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I have so many feelings about this burrito
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
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