I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
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