It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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