so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
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