Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
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