its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize