So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
