can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Randomize
