Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
Randomize
