I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
