I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
lets start a swedish sibling band together
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
Did I show you my penis last night?
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Randomize
