I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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