Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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