he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
Still dying that you shit outside
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Randomize
