I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
Randomize