If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
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