I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
