It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
