I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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