She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
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