Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
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