I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
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