now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Randomize
