wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Randomize
